Chasing Joy

So I picked up CS Lewis' Surprised by Joy and am utterly in love with it after one chapter. So somebody else has felt that too! Joy is an interesting choice of name for such a desperate and fierce emotion.

But those moments are the ones worth living for... am I a fool to do anything besides finding them?

Here is a question for the ages: do I need to change my situation to fit who I am? Or adapt who I am to the situation I am in?

It seems the latter might put me among the hordes of people "leading lives of quiet desperation."

out on a limb

This is a song that I've been really liking for a couple of weeks now... it's a great song for this moment in my life... it's my life and mine only, and I'm the only one who can make my choices... it's a lonely place.

i'm bleeding bad why don't you understand
i'm a lonely man
i'm being true when i say i'm (needing) you
am i getting through
have i lost out
to all my doubt
my strength is gone i need i need i can't go on
i am almost down, i am almost down

i've been callin but you're not home
and i'm out on a limb
i'm not scared but i'm alone
and i'm out on a limb

its getting so i can't feel anything
are you listening
and every time i feel i'm losing you
is it getting through
i live without
i am in doubt
i understand i understand
i'm almost down, i am almost down, i am almost down

i've been callin but you're not home
and i'm out on a limb
i'm not scared but i'm alone
and i'm out on a limb

all the angles come out square
(you wanted (to be) alone)
touch the door frame you're not there
(you wanted (me) alone)
and now i'm begging darling please

i've been callin but you're not home
and i'm out on a limb
i'm not scared but i'm alone
and i'm out on a limb

sometimes love can leave you cold
and i'm out on a limb
to be so be so young and feel so old
and i'm out on a limb

and i'm out on a limb
and i'm out on a limb
and i'm out on a limb
and i'm out on a limb

-nyco, two, out on a limb

Finally giving in

Since i've found some amazing people on blogger, I'm starting an account here, and will x-post the best of my LJ.

I've seen a lot of changes in my life in the last few months, and am expecting only more of the same. Big questions loom:

How do I want to live? Where? What will I do to fund that?

More questions than answers, but I'd be wise to return to working, for the time being.