Thursday, July 24, 2008

The world is not a cold dead place

The world is not a cold dead place,
is it?

Do you know?

Is life forever alone? No matter how well known or dearly held one might be, in the end we are alone,
aren't we.

And any euphoria,
and any bliss,
and any pain,
Beyond that, there is what is.

Sweet, but until then I am confronted with life, and all its appearance of reality.
To pass through with some lightness, some joy, leaving some beauty in my wake.

All these are as distractions, overlaid on the ground of being.
Still, silent, impenetrable, alive, intimate,
and yet, alone.

A week and a day ago, Roy (named here for my reference) made a comment about the awe of being alive. It's only sharpened the edge, given some teeth to what brews beneath the surface. Off center, out of balance, and pressing on in the dark... mostly, it seems, to survive.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

More Talking

I know the saying is less talking, more doing. Well, I'm doing and doing and doing lately, so time for more talking.

If you haven't been reading design-realized lately, you should. If you like clay, or just want to see what I do when I'm not at work. I've been doing a lot of work in the last few months and am finally catching up with the updates. And (if you are so moved) I do enjoy getting comments.

Today I had company for the second weekend in a row. Another cookout, this time vegetarian, shish kebab. Friends brought tofu, marinated veggies, mango (tasty!) dumplings for dessert. I baked a ridiculous amount of pita and made cucumber salad and hummus. Yes, I'm proud of my food-making skills.

And, several weeks ago I made mention of the notion of going to grad school. This resulted in several thoughtful comments, and thank you all. Which brings me to the longer part of my post; musing in response to those.

There's more to life than grad school - there's the thing that comes after. Teaching and making, I think, would be it. There's no sure thing, there, so I might be wise to keep my foot in the architectural door. Or I might be hedging, who knows.

And there's more to life than work. Right now I work in architecture, and my spare time goes to clay, and I barely have a moment for friends, family, cycling, paddling, sailing, vacations. And when I make that time, it's at the expense of something, and that something is never the thing I'd be happiest to skip out on - work!

I've been considering what exactly it is that maeks me happy, or at least defines a good day. It's a combination of challenges and easy productivity, and of creativity and logic. Plus some time to just exist - mentally if not physically relaxing - outdoors, but sometimes indoors, like if I have a good book to read. Maybe it doesn't have to be in a day, but to include all these in each week, at least, is wise.

Greenfrog asked we ever working on anything other than our souls?

I suppose he thinks the answer is no. On one level, I'm inclined to agree. Although I know it's all part of the process, at the same time I am okay with being itchy to change things, as opposed to continuing on the present path, going with the flow, and making a minimum of effort to change the course of things.

Hayden said it well, change often feels like one is throwing oneself under the train, but - the alternative is suffocation.

This week at work I realized that I am a project manager. It's challenging enough, so I'm not bored. But I'm also not finding it to be particularly fulfilling. Seeing my design work come to life - clay or architecture - is much more fulfilling. So yep, I'm a designer at heart. And in clay, there's a lot more of that than in architecture. It's the nature of the thing.

Monday, July 07, 2008

I watered the garden this evening

I watered the garden this evening; it smelled right.
Last night and today I'm reading Norris' "Dakota";
tomorrow the reading shall continue.
It makes me dream of other places, bigger skies, dreams fulfilled,
and makes me wonder if I'd miss the city.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Two, Wait, No, Three Things

1) It's not an emerald ash borer, it's a six-spotted Japanese something-or-other. It's also like Where's Waldo. Click for fullsize.

2) I'd like to have a space like this. A lot.

3) My maximum speed on Thursday's morning ride was 30.4 mph, achieved on flat land. But with a wicked tailwind. But it was still awesome.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Let the bloodletting begin.

Mine, that is. Got a vicious mosquito bite while weeding my little garden the other day.

I like having a garden. It gives me something outside to go play with. Over the weekend I bought and fed it some Miracle Grow.

Took me about five minutes too long to get the camera out and snap a photo, so, yes, this has a flash. Bunny fencing (they destroy everything, I feel badly for the hostas), corn, soybeans, basil, and a couple varieties of tomato. Oh, and the weeds. I'm making my way slowly through those. I might add a few pavers for some for-sure-safe spots to step. Indoors I have several pots of thyme, which I'll use for cooking.