Friday, May 26, 2006

Perhaps understanding is the wrong word.

That I can approach the physical world with logic... this only yields conclusions about how things appear to be, but how they are is a set of probabilities until I observe something... then the waves collapse into a singularity. Or diverge into alternate universes, of which I only experience one.

There is far more than the physical world... there is experience. There is (to name an idea that correlates to my experience) Oneness playing hide and seek. The Great Game. And to truly engage and to play that game, I cannot engage on the logical level, indeed, I have to leave all logic behind, have to be. The world is ours, if we would only let it be.

And the physical world is just one portion within the Great Game, it is the most readily accessible manifestation of the game. Then synchronicities. I learn to perceive more and more, until I see the universe in a grain of sand - no, the power of the universe, everything that's needed for a universe, in a grain of sand. In everything, in everyone, the same power, the same potential, the same isness, the same that.

But all that was written days ago. It's not real, none of it. But I did use logic to leave space for that which is not logic. (Neat little trick, eh?) Leave it to me to need to give myself permission to be.

I'm still pretty touch and go, over here. Time was easily measured in weeks, now days seem better, yet morning, afternoon, evening, might each have its own tenor, inexhaustible in length, slipping one into the next: when did I arrive here? When wasn't I here? Despair, joy, exhaustion, fear, peace, terror, silence. Yesterday seems like another lifetime.

Only now, this, I am.

7 comments:

jbmoore said...

A beautiful grain of sand on the shore watching the waves of Infinity roll over it. :-)(LOL! I deserve to be slapped for this metaphor!)

isaiah said...

"In everything, in everyone, the same power, the same potential, the same isness, the same that."

Yes, yes....indeed. There you have it!

"But all that was written days ago. It's not real, none of it."

Engage "It" on whatever level you are on... one has to begin and end here, because there is no other level to attain.

Right now, whatever level one is on- is THE level.

Darius said...

Love the honesty of this post and your thought-process!

For myself, I think of two realms, so to speak. On the one hand, there is experience. This includes not only what we can observe in the outside world via the senses, but also direct experience of our inner lives.

Then there's thinking-about-experience. This very much includes logic. And logic can be done correctly or incorrectly. There's logic, and then there's flawed logic. It's not just a matter of opinion.

So I like to fully honor the entire realm of experience; and conscientiously apply reason to that realm to the very best of my ability.

CE said...

Ma Julie,
C'est la vie!

Jim said...

Darius said he wants to be normal, you should be too. Isaiah says he already is normal, you are too. John says lol, slap him! I agree.

I have nothing to say to you, you are just way too confusing. Good luck to you, and all of you others.

Andrew said...

"(to name an idea that correlates to my experience)"

I love this. What if we all used words that correlated to our experience, instead of the convenient-but-numbing shorthand of familiar terminology? Like, for God?

Hope you're well, Julie. Thanks for this post.

anonymous julie said...

John, you know that you know better - that's a start!

Isaiah, there is too! But I can only engage "it" right now, where I am, and so I will.

Darius, thank you. That's a useful way of thinking about it.

Imemine; in a way!

Travis; sorry for the long delay and hope you'll be back. Thank you.

Jim, that's fine, but you did; no luck needed...

Andrew, thank you so much. Really.