long moments

What with being the rational type and all, I'm not terribly comfortable with posting something I've written from a feeling standpoint - being of the viewpoint that emotions are generally insubstantial and create a lot of trouble; they're nice human things but ultimately... well, anyway, it's more important to be honest to the experience, so here goes. Written early Sunday afternoon.

my heart breaks open, to hold the world.
a cool breeze through the window brushes my face,
(signs of autumn, i love the cool, the barn-ish-ness)
and i feel - and i feel, and i feel, and i feel -
this.

held, caressed, loved,
a sob rising, or something, rising, for sure.
rising, pressing through, pushing thought aside,
demanding to be it, and only it, occupying my attention.
i am happy to oblige, and sit here, with it

and i want to remember this gentle kiss
stay forever where i feel, now
i haven't been far, lately,
but this is closer still, and so i draw,
closer, and closer still.

but held close,
as in that sketch of my longing
to be held,
i am.
even as i draw the world to myself, it holds me.

sitting, perfectly content,
arms round knee, head laid down,
as though held - and truly, held eternally
but i find it now
corners of mouth turn up, though still i want to cry
deep breath brings me nearly to tears
for how sweet this is.