On meditation, enlightenment, and existence.

In response to Andrew's post:

It's a fantastic question. I think that from the outside, people have expectations for what meditation is... if one fails to clear one's mind, then the meditation is looked upon as a failure... but is there some place to reach, or is it just showing up and trying that counts? Meditation is called a "practice" for a reason - as is architecture - some episodes of practice are more "successful" than others - but they are all absolutely successful at being practice.

Likewise, I think there are ideas of what enlightenment is - some kind of ongoing mythic higher awareness. You know what? I think that's crap. I think that even so-called enlightened people have their unenlightened moments. Some are more aware of it than others. Enlightenment, too, is a practice - it's the practice of awareness. We're all practicing it perfectly. Are you, right now, missing something, some cosmic flow of energy that I can detect and you cannot? Maybe - but why bother worrying about what you're missing? Keep looking around and you will continue to be aware. If it's not there, then it's not there.

If anybody expects that enlightenment is a perfect beatific state, or if it is beatific vision itself - well, that's one thing that enlightenment may be.

Actually, I think it's what enlightenment is. But recognising enlightenment as who you are, where you are, and that you are, right now, at your computer screen (okay, look around the room for a second) experiencing it... recognition is another thing.

And constant recognition is still another. And it's also a practice. I think there are people who are called "enlightened" who are just as clueless as you and I, but have had some experiences with longer views. And enlightenment doesn't seem any different, it's just a continuation of everything else, and just as normal. It's just a broadening of the horizon.

What do I expect of meditation?

God is a label, a word, a handle, something that's attached to a much larger concept, a larger experience; it's specific, and universal. Nonduality, too... points to the same thing (and isn't as sticky for me as "God", with all the trappings attached to that). Or sitting in the dark feeling nothing and wishing to feel something... for me, that's generally indicitive of too much effort.

To experience anything in meditation... for me, the practice is of letting go, of relaxing. The only thing I'm trying to do (if trying is the right word) is to stop. It's probably more accurate to say that I am not stopping, but recognizing that I am distinct from all the wheels I'm keeping in motion.

I, too, have mixed senses on what is, what isn't, why I'm sitting there. At times I want to insist there's nothing more, but find that the boundless ocean is still there whenever I wish to plumb its depths.

And at times I'm befuddled as to what that has to do with life, or, life as I know it... the myriad of relationships and stuff that, if illusory, are a very persistent illusion. They're a shell of ice on the ocean; at times transparent, thin, at times opaque, utterly solid, at times slush, making boundaries indecipherable.

This morning, my mind rested on the phrase (yeah, sorry, no half-lotus, just riding my bike around and idly musing, but still, that's meditation) "it is what it is." It's so simply and deeply true.