Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Life as Practice

My resopnse to Jon's post got lengthy, so it's over here instead.

Jon writes about procrastination - check out his post to see the course he's taking. Here's my multi-faceted response, describing how I've decided to approach it.

I'm with Jon on the "live in the moment" part, and at the same time understand how one can spend much time thinking about then or about later. Perhaps one way to go is to give oneself permission to plan, or permission to reminisce. "Okay, I'm going to work on planning out my week, and if I'm not done brainstorming and scheduling in fifteen minutes, I'll give myself another five to wrap it up." In other words, set limits. (This concept is adapted from somebody suggesting giving oneself permission to "be lazy".)

I'm not sure how to address the "I really ought to" part. There's the problem of not particularly enjoying doing some things... I think the anticipation ends up being much worse than the actual activity. That may be something that'll help you. Even going to the dentist, which I did today, was not so terrible. So I try not to adjust my anticipation to be closer to the reality, and try not to spend time anticipating.

But then there's the concept of guilt wrapped into the descriptions - or, I get the sense that there is. Procrastination and guilt can go hand in hand. I think it's pretty normal for guilt to try and creep in, and that the area of advancement is identifying it and chosing how to deal with it. My personal belief is that whatever one does is what's most important. Obviously cleaning the bathtub isn't too important to me, helping a coworker meet a deadline is more important than getting out of work on time. Paying my bills right when they show up doesn't matter, but keeping the hassle down by getting out the stamps and checkbook to do them all at once is (though this has resulted in more than one slightly-late utility payment.) And so on.

Last, I was going to ask Jon why procrastination is a problem? The real problem is that things don't get done on time. Why not? In my way of thinking, because they don't become a high enough priority. So maybe you could tackle the problem as one of priority instead.

3 comments:

Jon said...

Dear Julie,

Of course, prioritizing is a part of it all, even when I say I'm practicing being fascinated by what I need to do, the "need" part is discovered by prioritizing, albeit later in the process (when there's an enormous stack of mail).

What the practice of intense interest might help me with is moving the prioritization to an earlier stage. I.e (what of today's mail do I need to address).

That said, all of the self-help gurus seem to emphasize prioritizing skills, but a focus on priority per se has never helped me. That's for people more organized than me; I need to trick myself into it.

anonymous julie said...

Hi Jon,

I've always tested as INTJ but sometimes wonder if that J should be a P. Maybe not; despite a loose grasp on time I'm a compulsive organizer. But it also lets me feel like things are in control when they have their place.

I'm surprised that anybody else has stressed priority, but it's probably because I haven't read a lot of self-help gurus. Here I thought I had come up with a different angle on things, not so!

But that's interesting, because I don't know what anybody else does with their mail.

I guess one could claim that your priority is to be interested :) sounds like it could be fun!

bert said...

Hmmz, I had to look up the word first before I could interpret your text :)

Anyhow, I don't really think it's all that big of a problem. But where to problems shifts to is its social aspect. If you delay certain tasks appointed to you (explicitly or not), others might become less interested in what you are capable of, simply because you refrain from doing it.

As rational as I might be, I also have undergone these situations and although it's not because of anxiety, but rather manner of thinking: he/she isn't doing it, so why should I?

Perhaps the weight of the issues pending is something very subjective to evaluate, whereas many desire an objective, two way/sided view. A moral value given to something undefined is not easy to comprehend, let alone solve.