It's been more than a month, and though I've written missives and epistles to friends, I've had little to share here. This is partly a response to Andrew's latest post and partly digressions.
I did know that Joyce was a man, though it took me several readings to catch the parody (I'd forgotten the original line). Walk in a forest and find out what those brutes do, untended; they drop leaves. I have fond memories of jumping into gigantic leaf piles; we had two large pin oaks, a pair of poplars, a pair of walnut trees. That's a lot of leaves.
But most of my memories are of burnt orange to brown leaves. This year, for whatever reason, is a yellow year. Yellow locust, yellow maple, yellow everything, gold everywhere on the ground. Left in the street they turn orangeybrown, but the sidewalks are yellow yellow yellow. It seems to me much cheerier and I'm quite enjoying the display.
It is my intention to have a yard not requiring mowing, and comprised of native prarie plants, and garden (which will, I know, require weeding).
On the subject of Apple products, I've learned the hard way that laptop batteries last best when fully charged, then discharged, and not left sitting plugged in all day. It may be that the Apple guys new there were bad logic boards out there as well, and didn't tell me when I had my machine in for its tendency to unexpectedly turn itself off. I'm torn between selling the MacBook and buying another, or trying to get the current one repaired.
Relatedly, my desktop Windows machine died the day after Thankgsiving, so I'll need to buy a new one, as well as the software I use.
It's been a few days since all this started and I'm not so stressed over it, but the prospect of spending a couple (or more) thousand dollars unexpectedly is, nonetheless, annoying. I haven't decided what route to go; I'd like to do all my work sitting on the couch, but would be okay with rolling a desktop and LCD screen around to do so - the benefit being more computer for less money, and a whopping big LCD.
Before that began, I was looking into buying a Wacom tablet. Anybody use one?
On music: a friend (actually, the guy who came up with it) turned me on to songza.com and it's made for some fun at work. It's ridiculously easy to use, so check it out. Search for music you want, start playing, make a playlist, jam for hours. It makes me feel a bit more lively to have stuff playing, especially that I know and like; it also helps keep my brain busy, as part of it likes to sing along. Andrew aptly wrote of the world disappearing; the more it can be shoved away, the better.
And before all that began, studio headphones topped my Christmas list. I hate earbuds, and have a cheap pair of quasi-studio headphones at work; the artificial leatherstuff is flaking off so I have to check my face for black bits of plastic pretty frequently.
There is that, life as liturgy. Though for the last few years I've felt rather disconnected from the liturgical calendar, finding that no holiday feels like itself, or often feels like a holiday, even. I wonder if I can look forward to this for the rest of my adult life, and the predictable conflict of family members that can't live and let live, and let everyone try to find his own way. Everyone's a sinner.
The idea of having favorite moments is a nice one; without major changes they'll be few, and too fleeting. Get up in the morning, drag in to work, do meaningless stuff all day... I can't help but wonder if the need to make work goes back as far as any other ritual. Whose work provides anything other than convenience? Few! The moment of escape only leads to What Other Damn Things I Have to Do Before Bed, far less frequently to finding Something Meaningful to do. It should be no wonder to anyone that the house is so infrequently cleaned, there are much more important things to be tended to than dust and cat fur. When is my life ever mine?
Why bother, Andrew asks? Because it means something.
Or really, because the anticipated effects are desirable. Maybe all that's meaningful is the hope for something more.
It was nice to sit around on... Friday? Saturday? Sometime, the feline went nuts. He would try to toss things in the air and bat at them, apparently see something clear across the apartment and dash off, only to come back the next moment and go skidding around the corner to check the kitchen. These things are much funnier when they don't awaken me. And a couple days later I saw a really nice moon.