Monday night I tried to write a post expressing my frustration with everything - with the world, with myself, about my frustration with being frustrated... it just wasn't coming out right, and I felt like I was just complaining about stuff I shouldn't complain about... then again, I oughtn't be frustrated, either, and sometimes I am. A lot.
So I get frustrated, usually at myself (idealism and perfectionism go hand-in-hand some days) and then proceed to be upset because I'm frustrated! It's ridiculous, I don't need to do it, but I do it to myself anyway, and I know it.
Detachment. It's just a game. Wash, rinse, repeat as necessary. Don't forget to breathe.
Three related posts by others that happened (ha) to go up in the last day:
John on Being the watcher instead of the thinker ...detachment. I am me, not the stuff swimming through my mind.
Trev writes Missing the mark is right on target. Contrast: the whites are whiter, the brights are brighter, and the darks are darker...
Andrew's impassioned words/manifesto ("i am a christian") I'm sharing a lot of the frustrations that I read here... and it happens that my sister (the Catholic apologist) bashed Merton for me on Sunday.
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10 comments:
In breath, out breath. All is right even when it's not. :)
Blessings as you continue to play the game.
It is a game, yeah. But that doesn't mean it's wrong to care deeply. And if we care deeply, we will feel frustration. Jesus certainly did. Lots of Zen masters did, too.
How would you attempt to show compassion to someone you met who was caught up in this cycle of frustration, and then frustration about feeling frustrated? Remind them to breathe? Take them out for a drink? Tell them it's all right to have a good cry or scream or whatever? Whatever it is, can you do that for yourself?
Although on one level I know that this, too, is part of All Being Right, on another level, suffering just plain sucks. Alan Watts writes that living in the flow of the Tao is not about keeping a stiff upper lip and pretending that you're detached and so it doesn't matter, but rather responding naturally and effortlessly to what's happening. (He actually uses the image of being attacked by a shark--the proper response is not to say, "Oh, I'm fine, it's just an illusion," but rather to swim like hell!)
I guess what I'm trying to do is to invite you to a space of compassion for yourself.
And, as Trev said, blessings.
Infinite patience brings immediate rewards.
When you fine tune the art of non attachment to the outcome, you learn that passion is great also. You eventually manage to maximize passion and still minimze frustration.
I found this on Smarts blog:
"I just decided that I am going to be content. Decided this morning actually.
Already I feel so much lighter."
Trev; it just doesn't seem right, right? :) Just a game...
Andrew; thank you. It's not real, it seems real... this is hard.
Paul; Over the last couple of days I've realized that I have the ability to shake off this craziness... but how would it feel? With detachment, would I still experience these amazing heights and depths? Is the destructiveness of being pulled into the nightmare, or the wonder of the dream, just as real? Can I learn to immerse myself without getting lost, to be able whenever I want, to stand up and take a breath and see from the detached perspective instead?
Rob; does contentment require giving up idealism? Another question I've been pondering; can I be content (specifically with regard to architectural practice) to do the best I can given the constraints?
Idealism is a problematical word. I would guess it means trying to do one's best rather than being a perfectionist.
Content is also a problematical word. It should not be confused with smugness.
I expect you know the saying, "The best is often the enemy of the good."
To your first question I would answer no, to the second yes.
Julie, Julie, Julie-
This is IT, my dear...frustrations, detachments and all. There isn't anymore than this- and yet, this contains IT all.
"The obstacle is the way."
Right now, right where you are- "You are that, too!"
It IS all just a game you are playing (with yourself), so don't take it too seriously, we all wake up when we wake up. When you suddenly catch yourself chuckling, laughing even....there YOU are!
No worries...everything is always in Divine Order!
It all boils down to the need of love (universal!!!). Julie, I love you, and God loves you.
LOL, What a mess. I wish you the best, but good will be fine.
From all, love; to all, love.
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