Monday, November 13, 2006

Lingering questions

What is love? At the end of October 2005, my first serious relationship ended, and while it was an amicable parting I also felt disillusioned. As with career choices, trying to find what I'm looking for in a relationship has been a source alternately of nonchalance (it'll pull itself together) and trepidation (but what if?). These are, after all, major life choices, at least the way things are conventionally looked at.

Not that I'm looking for any answers - easy or otherwise. I think it's the kind of question one has to live through to understand - after finding the courage to live it - and the key to the answer is in understanding the question. I think. At the same time, there are a few people to whom I would say "I love you" and know it to be truthful - though I do wonder what I mean by it.

In so many situations, I find myself simultaneously aware of the way things typically go, or what our culture typically expects - and how my experience has nothing to do with it. The observation doesn't bother me, I've never fit the expected but have been increasingly comfortable with that, but it is interesting. Does anyone else experience the same dichotomy?

3 comments:

jbmoore said...

What society expects of the individual and how or what one needs to do to feel comfortable living within society are two completely different things. There's a balance between what the group wants and want the individual wants. And that's not even taking into account what the leaders want. Sometimes what they want of us is not what we want to give them knowingly.

CE said...

I know what you mean. Well, you can choose to be single all your life. Or choose to fall in love. And maybe choose even to get married.
I know it's not easy. I prefer love to marriage. Or you can choose to get a divorce.
Don't be in a hurry to choose. ;>)

Larry Clayton said...

Of course, Julie; everyone does. The dichotomy is between the way of the world and the way of God.