Clouds, and hope that fire brings light

Andrew linked to a blog entry and these are my thoughts as I read:

This one rang true:

Anonymous said...

Everything I've been feeling in my life resonates very closely with what your troubled dark night of the soul reader describes. I recall that when I was initially drawn on an inward exploration towards God, I was filled with energy, meaning and motivation. All those things that motivated me now seem so shallow and life in so many ways just seems to be a bunch of insanely bizarre events that we must go through. I don't suffer much though since I've also lost my ability to worry about things since its obviously a pointless thing to do, but my God I do see tremendous suffering (usually self inflicted) out in our materially oriented world. I also see so many people so ignorantly putting this suffering on themselves by setting up stupid self centered goals. Sometimes I feel like so much of our society has become geared towards servicing our dumb neurotic wants that I feel like just quiting.
At the same time I have felt the light coming through the cracks and I do know that existence is beyond weird and is all there is and ever will be and is all that I am possibly looking for. Just don't know how to cope with my apparent detachment from the "normal" world of society.
8/28/2007 10:17:00 AM

And another: find what you're happy being - there's some damn good advice!

But the rest - fake it till ya make it? Not genuine. No, I want to live this hell through, and I don't want an easy way out. Help others? When it comes without effort, sure. The problem with so many of these solutions is that they involve trying - I mean, that's the problem I have with them. If I have learned anything, it's that trying really tends to foul things up.

JWM has an excellent tirade. I feel pretty darn good about myself doing a deceptively simple thing well. Pouring concrete would be on my list. Anything involving a trowel is soothing.

Oh look, a mild depression is passing through again. Interesting. Wonder what's for dinner. Love the disconnection of this comment.

One man's mower clippings is another's concrete. I really want a yard, with a huge garden. And a dog.

Religion is for those who fear God; spirituality is for those who have been to hell and back.

Dao Mu ... paradoxically, however, it ALL does matter to God. It just doesn't matter to you. That's the thing. It ain't yours. Like the idea. Can't seem to find a balance between one side of the paradox and the other.

Oh right, the kittens and monkeys. The kitten business sounds a lot like "let go, let God" which is pretty damn stupid advice if you ask me. It's advice that creates expectations for God to do things, and preferably your way. If you're tired, you're allowed to let go. It is what it is.

Oh, and I liked the distinction between what you really want and what you think you want, or have convinced yourself that you want, or anything but what you really want. That was a good comment too.

I'm going up to WI for the weekend, for the wood+salt firing, leaving this afternoon and returning Sunday sometime. There's something about being in front of a kiln that's been something of a religious experience and I hope it is again. Being outside tends to be good for me too.

Things have been too busy lately, at times coming to a beaten down resignation that I will have to drag myself though (two very difficult weeks at work) and the patience that it will end. So I hope it does some good to be away.